Divorce Financial Planning

7 Common Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce

Learn from the experts and avoid the pitfalls of divorce with our guide on the 7 common mistakes to steer clear of during this challenging process. Get invaluable insights to ensure a smoother, more successful divorce experience.

November 3, 2023
7 Common Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce

7 Common Mistakes to Avoid During Divorce

Divorce is a difficult and emotionally charged process. It is normal for people to feel overwhelmed and unsure about the best way to proceed. However, it is important to avoid making common mistakes that could have long-lasting effects on your life. In this article, we'll discuss seven common mistakes during divorce and how to avoid them.

Mistake 1: Not Considering Mediation

Many couples jump straight into litigation without considering mediation. While litigation can be effective in some cases, it can also be costly, time-consuming, and emotionally draining. Mediation, on the other hand, can be an effective way to resolve disputes, especially when it comes to child custody and financial matters.

Mediation is a less formal process, and it can be more cost-effective and efficient than traditional litigation. It allows both parties to work through their issues together in a controlled environment. This enables couples to discuss things more openly and honestly, working towards an agreement that both parties are happy with.

Related: The Importance of Communication During Divorce

The Benefits of Mediation

One of the main benefits of mediation is that it is a confidential process. This means that couples can be more candid about their goals and needs. Mediation also allows couples to have more control over the outcome of their case, rather than leaving it up to a judge to decide.

Mediation can also be less stressful than litigation, as it is a more collaborative and less adversarial process. This can be especially important for couples who have children, as it can help to minimize the negative impact of divorce on them.

How to Find a Qualified Mediator

It's essential to find a qualified mediator to ensure the process is effective. Look for a mediator who is experienced with divorce cases and who has the proper qualifications. It's a good idea to check reviews and ratings before deciding on a mediator.

You may also want to consider the mediator's style and approach. Some mediators are more facilitative, meaning they focus on helping the parties communicate effectively and find common ground. Others are more evaluative, meaning they provide their own opinions and suggestions for resolving the dispute.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to find a mediator who you feel comfortable working with and who can help you achieve your goals for the mediation process.

Related: Understanding Alimony and Spousal Support

Mistake 2: Ignoring the Emotional Impact

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional process. Ignoring the emotional impact of divorce can have severe consequences. It's essential to take care of your emotional health during this process.

Divorce is one of the most stressful life events that a person can experience. It can leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and uncertain about the future. The emotional impact of divorce can be significant, and it's essential to take care of yourself during this time.

Coping with Emotional Stress

It's crucial to find healthy ways to cope with stress during the divorce process. This may include talking to a therapist or a close friend, practicing meditation or mindfulness, and engaging in self-care activities such as exercise or hobbies.

One of the most effective ways to cope with emotional stress during divorce is to talk to a therapist. A therapist can help you work through your emotions and provide you with coping strategies to manage stress. They can also provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and concerns.

Another way to cope with emotional stress is to practice mindfulness or meditation. These practices can help you stay present in the moment and reduce feelings of anxiety and stress. You can also engage in self-care activities such as exercise or hobbies to help you relax and take your mind off the divorce process.

Seeking Professional Help

Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or struggling to cope. A therapist can provide valuable support and guidance during this difficult time in your life.

It's essential to remember that seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. A therapist can help you navigate the complex emotions and challenges that come with divorce. They can also provide you with tools and strategies to help you move forward and create a fulfilling life after divorce.

In conclusion, ignoring the emotional impact of divorce can have severe consequences. It's essential to take care of your emotional health during this process by finding healthy ways to cope with stress, such as talking to a therapist or practicing mindfulness. Don't hesitate to seek professional help if you need it. Remember, divorce is a challenging time, but with the right support and resources, you can navigate this process and come out stronger on the other side.

Related: The Impact of Divorce on Mental Health

Mistake 3: Failing to Understand Your Finances

Divorce can be a stressful and emotionally draining experience, but it's important not to let your emotions cloud your judgment when it comes to your finances. Failing to understand your financial situation can have long-term consequences, so it's crucial to take the time to assess your finances and protect your financial future.

Assessing Your Financial Situation

When assessing your financial situation, it's important to take a comprehensive approach. Start by compiling a list of all of your assets and debts, including bank accounts, retirement accounts, real estate, and any outstanding loans or credit card balances. It's also important to evaluate your income and expenses, including any potential changes in income or expenses that may occur after the divorce.

Understanding your tax situation is also crucial when assessing your financial situation. You may need to consult with a tax professional to determine how your tax situation will be impacted by the divorce and to ensure that you are taking advantage of all available tax deductions and credits.

Creating a Post-Divorce Budget

After assessing your financial situation, it's essential to create a post-divorce budget. This will help you understand your expenses in the future and can help guide decisions about property division, alimony, and child support.

When creating your budget, it's important to be realistic about your expenses. This may require making some difficult decisions about your lifestyle, such as downsizing your home or cutting back on discretionary spending. However, creating a realistic budget can help you avoid financial hardship in the future.

It's also important to consider the long-term financial implications of any decisions made during the divorce process. For example, accepting a larger share of the marital property may seem like a good idea in the short-term, but it may not be sustainable in the long-term if you are unable to maintain the property or if it comes with significant expenses.

Working with a financial professional, such as a financial planner or accountant, can be helpful when creating a post-divorce budget and evaluating the long-term financial implications of any decisions made during the divorce process.

Related: Navigating Asset Division in Divorce

Mistake 4: Not Prioritizing Your Children's Needs

Divorce can be an emotionally challenging experience for all parties involved. However, it can be especially difficult for children who may not fully understand what is happening or why. As a parent, it's essential to prioritize your children's needs and to help them adjust to the changes happening in their lives.

Developing a Co-Parenting Plan

One way to prioritize your children's needs during a divorce is to create a co-parenting plan with your former spouse. This plan should outline the parenting schedule, how decisions will be made regarding your children, and how conflicts will be resolved. By creating a co-parenting plan, you can provide stability and consistency for your children, which can be especially important during this time of transition.

When creating a co-parenting plan, it's essential to consider your children's needs and schedules. For example, if your children have extracurricular activities or medical appointments, you'll need to make sure that both parents are aware of these commitments and can work together to ensure that the children's needs are met.

Helping Your Children Adjust

Another way to prioritize your children's needs during a divorce is to help them adjust to changes in their routine. This can be done by communicating openly with your children about the divorce and what to expect. It's important to be honest with your children while also being mindful of their age and emotional maturity.

Children may have a range of emotions during a divorce, including anger, sadness, and confusion. It's important to validate their feelings and to provide a safe and supportive environment where they can express themselves. Additionally, maintaining a positive relationship with your former spouse can help your children feel comfortable spending time with both parents.

Finally, it's important to remember that adjusting to a divorce is a process, and it may take time for your children to fully adapt. By prioritizing your children's needs and providing them with love and support, you can help them navigate this challenging time and emerge stronger and more resilient.

Related: Navigating the Divorce Process With Children

Mistake 5: Overlooking Tax Implications

Divorce can have significant tax implications that are often overlooked. It's essential to understand these implications to avoid unexpected tax consequences.

Understanding Tax Consequences of Divorce

Understanding the tax consequences of divorce can be complex, so it's important to consult with a tax professional. You'll need to consider tax implications related to the division of property, alimony, and child support.

When it comes to the division of property, it's important to understand that not all property is equal in the eyes of the IRS. For example, if you receive a house in the divorce settlement, you may be responsible for paying capital gains tax if you sell it in the future. A tax professional can help you understand how to minimize these tax implications.

Related: Understanding Tax Considerations in Divorce


This is another area where tax implications can arise. The person paying alimony can deduct it from their taxes, while the person receiving alimony must report it as income. It's important to understand these implications when negotiating a divorce settlement.

Child support

This also has tax implications. Unlike alimony, child support is not tax-deductible for the person paying it, and it's not considered income for the person receiving it. However, if you have multiple children, it's important to understand how claiming them as dependents on your taxes will impact your tax situation.

Related: Financial Mistakes To Avoid In Your Divorce Settlement

Consulting a Tax Professional

A tax professional can help you understand how your divorce will impact your tax situation and provide guidance on how to minimize any negative consequences. They can also help you understand any tax credits or deductions you may be eligible for as a result of your divorce, such as the child tax credit or the earned income tax credit.

It's important to consult with a tax professional before finalizing your divorce settlement to ensure that you fully understand the tax implications of your decisions. By doing so, you can avoid unexpected tax consequences and ensure that you're making informed decisions that will benefit you in the long run.

Mistake 6: Rushing to Settle

The divorce process can be one of the most challenging and emotionally draining experiences a person can go through. It's easy to want to rush the process to get it over with and move on with your life. However, in doing so, you may end up settling for less than you deserve and regretting it in the long run.

It's crucial to remember that divorce is not a race, and taking the time to navigate the process carefully can make all the difference in the outcome. Rushing through it can lead to hasty decisions that you may come to regret later on.

The Importance of Patience

Patience is critical during the divorce process. It's essential to take the time to fully understand the implications of any agreements you enter into and make sure you're comfortable with the terms. Rushing to sign on the dotted line can result in giving up important rights or assets that you're entitled to.

Moreover, taking the time to think through the process can help you identify potential issues that may arise in the future. A rushed settlement may not take into account future expenses or changes in circumstances that could impact your financial situation.

Knowing When to Compromise

While patience is important, it's also essential to know when to compromise. Divorce involves give and take, and it's important to be able to negotiate effectively to achieve a settlement that works for both parties. However, compromising does not mean giving up everything you're entitled to. It means being willing to work with your spouse to reach a fair and equitable agreement that takes into account both of your needs and interests.

It's important to approach negotiations with an open mind and a willingness to listen to the other side's perspective. By doing so, you may be able to identify creative solutions that work for both parties and avoid a lengthy and costly court battle.

Rushing to settle your divorce may seem like the easiest option at the time, but it can have long-lasting consequences. Taking the time to navigate the process carefully, with patience and a willingness to compromise, can help you achieve a settlement that works for you in the long run.

Related: 7 Essential Steps to Take Before Filing for Divorce

Mistake 7: Not Hiring the Right Legal Representation

Choosing the right divorce attorney can make all the difference. Not hiring the right legal representation can have severe consequences. When it comes to divorce, emotions can run high, and it's easy to make mistakes that can cost you dearly. That's why it's essential to have a skilled and experienced attorney on your side.

Divorce can be a complex and challenging process, and it's essential to have an attorney who understands the nuances of the law and can guide you through each step of the process. A good divorce attorney will help you navigate the legal system, protect your rights, and advocate for your interests.

Finding the Right Divorce Attorney

When looking for a divorce attorney, it's crucial to find someone who has experience with cases like yours and who is knowledgeable about the laws of your state. You want an attorney who understands the unique challenges of your situation and can provide you with the guidance and support you need.

Researching potential attorneys is an important step in the process. You can check reviews and ratings online to get a sense of their reputation and track record. You can also ask for referrals from friends or family members who have gone through a divorce.

Understanding the Role of Your Attorney

It's essential to understand the role of your attorney in the divorce process. Your attorney should help you understand your rights and advise you on the best course of action to take. They should also be a skilled negotiator, able to advocate for your interests effectively.

In addition to providing legal guidance, your attorney should also be a source of emotional support during this difficult time. They should be someone you can trust to listen to your concerns and provide you with the reassurance you need.

Ultimately, hiring the right divorce attorney can make all the difference in the outcome of your case. With the right legal representation, you can navigate the divorce process with confidence and move forward with your life.


Divorce is a challenging and emotional process, but it's important to avoid common mistakes that can have long-lasting effects on your life. By considering these seven mistakes and taking steps to avoid them, you can increase the chances of achieving a successful outcome.

I hope this information was helpful. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. I’d be happy to chat with you. 

Connect with Jen

About the Author

As a Divorce Financial Analyst and Senior Wealth Advisor here at Vincere Wealth, Jen helps clients navigate the financial challenges and decisions that a divorce can present. Having someone guide you today in making sound financial decisions can have a significant impact on your financial well-being in the future. Jen takes great pride in guiding clients through the complexities of student loans, retirement planning, and marriage and divorce planning.

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